To Be or Not to Be… Kind

Dear Christian Counselor,

My boyfriend just told me that I was getting on his nerves by saying, “Justin Bieber is cute, oh Usher is amazing,“ a couple of times to make him smile and laugh. And it’s normal for girls to say that kind of stuff. But instead he said I hurt his feelings again. I don’t know what to do.

Emily


Dear Emily,

I think your boyfriend has been pretty clear about what he would like you to do. The real question is why you don’t want to do it. When someone you care about asks you to stop hurting them, the kind response is to stop. What do you care about MORE than your boyfriend which makes you tease him this way? Is it being cool, knowing he is jealous about you, keeping some distance in your relationship or something else? Once you figure out why you don’t want to be kind to him, then you need to make a decision about whether that reason is really more important than he is. And if it is, then you probably shouldn’t be his girlfriend.

2 thoughts on “To Be or Not to Be… Kind

  1. I understand this in different ways. I was told by the one who teases me and says things that hurt me, that I should be use to it by now. So…… am I being too sensitive??
    I was just hoping that I was at least a little right when I have told him to please stop it.
    So far this year, I have had NO CLUE WHY the things have gone the way they have?!?!?! (and quite FRANKLY, NOT AT ALL how I wanted it to go)
    I’m just hoping for some wisdom on this subject.
    Signed,
    Mind GONE, and NEVER had the wisdom!!!

  2. If someone is teasing you and they won’t stop when you ask them, that is not a good sign for a healthy, lasting relationship. Kindness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit and is something we should all strive toward. Why would you put up with this in a friend? (That’s a real question for you to answer.) If you want to keep the friendship, you could try asking a third party to help you talk with your teaser.

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