The Loneliness of Addiction

Dear Christian Counselor,

My husband and I recently lost our home and cars due to his drug addiction. He went to rehab for four months, and he was doing really good.  He got a job and was supposed to be giving me all the money he made so I could save it up. Well the excuses started, and I forgave him. He bought a car, lied about the price, then confessed to me the truth. I went to see him, and he has breakouts all over his face (from using, I’m guessing), and he has been trying to get loans from loan companies on the internet. His mother is enabling him by letting him stay there for her own selfish reasons. My question is what do I do? How do I hold him accountable? I told him I would file for child support, and he said, “Do what you have to do.”

Here We Go Again

Dear Here We Go,

The very nature of addiction is that it isolates those involved in it, both the individual and their family. There is shame tied to addictions, so we want to hide or disappear.  To begin the climb out it is helpful if we come out of hiding and begin to include others. However, we need to be sure that the people we include are mature and Godly.  The Bible tells us, “to bear another’s burdens and thus fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)  We provide wisdom for each other, pray, share and support one another.  I don’t see anyone else involved in this story, and I would encourage you to get involved in the body of Christ.  You should also seek some advice to protect yourself financially. This means talking to a pastor and/or a counselor and being in the local church so that you can move in a direction that would be most helpful for you and your husband. Most churches can also refer you to things like lawyers, financial advisers and support groups. God will provide direction for you, and He does have a plan for your good. Sometimes, it really does take a village – don’t walk through this story alone. “Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.” (Hebrews 10:23-24)