The following piece was written by an eloquent client of mine whose heart was wounded when she confessed her deeper feelings for a good friend. He apparently wanted to be sure no misunderstanding or future disappointments would occur, so he replied, “It will never happen.” His words compounded other words from her past which had torn away at her self-worth. Now she fears she is not, nor ever will be, enough – that she will never be loved. Although she has not sent it, she wrote this letter to the man who broke her spirit. I hope it will speak to your spirit – and maybe even to hers.
You Spoke Death
I was in Hobby Lobby a couple of weeks ago and saw something that made me think of you. I felt a nudging to buy it for you and I thought, “God, why would you ask me to do this?” Then God replied, “Why would you let this man stop you from being who I created you to be… a giver, someone who sees needs and tries to help stand in the gaps and encourage others, to remind them I still see them even when no one is watching, that I see them?” I left the store, with a reminder of who I used to be in Christ and who I am now. I no longer stop. I walk by, and I try to make as little contact as possible.
I wish years ago when I held up my heart that you could have spoken life and been gracious instead of saying, “It will never happen.” I wish you could have known that you spoke death to me and who God was creating me to be. I wish you could have said, “I love you. I love the heart you have for God and the way He has created you to have a servant’s heart and encourage others. I have a different vision for my life, but if I was older and liked chunky girls, well then, I would be all about this, but that isn’t the case. I know God has a special person for you who can love you in a way that I cannot. I will start praying with you for God to bring that person who enjoys playing and serving and wants to build a life encouraging and growing God’s kingdom. And while I am praying I promise to continue to be your friend and help you grow in areas that will help you achieve what God has placed in your heart, and I know that these times will not be wasted because God will be working in and on me at the same time to grow me into a more godly man, better able to communicate, and that this walk will glorify God even if we both know it does not end in marriage to one another but in growth for His Kingdom and that we would ultimately become better versions of ourselves and better spouses for who I believe God has for both of us in the future. Thank you for trusting me enough to share your heart. God Bless!”
That is who I saw when I looked at you. But that isn’t who you are. Maybe I never knew you at all.
The man these words were meant to reach may never see them, but others will. There are two things any one of us can take away from her profound message. First, be careful with your words. They are not meant to serve you but to serve those around you, and they may have a more lasting impact than you could ever guess. Serve God with your words.
God Speaks Life
Second, mortal man is a flawed, fallible, careless and limited creature. Do not allow the words of a fellow human being to dictate your identity in Christ. What God has said, man cannot overrule. You are never unloved, never hopeless, never alone, no matter what anyone says to you or about you.
I hope my client speaks those words of life to herself that she wished to hear from another. Better yet, I hope she can hear God speak those words to her.
God showed his love for us when he sent his only Son into the world to give us life. Real love isn’t our love for God, but his love for us. (1 Jn 4:9-10, CEV)
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. (Rom 15:13, ESV)
Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. (Ps. 73:23-24, ESV)
Speak life to someone today.