I Was Wrong

To be a Christian means to be humble, first, foremost and always. To be a Christian means you understand every part of you is fallen by nature. You understand your fallen mind is going to be wrong a lot, your fallen heart is going to be prideful and fearful a lot, and your fallen hands are going to do the wrong thing a lot.

Our tendencies

One might presume, knowing our tendencies, that Christians would be humble a lot. However, blindness is also a natural characteristic of our fallen state. That’s why it is so important to lead with humility. “Maybe I’m wrong,” should be our watchword. And yet, I can hear some among you now saying, “Christians should stand especially firm in their beliefs, because those beliefs are based on the word of God. We are called to contend for the faith.”

I hope you noticed the key phrases in that declaration. “Based on the word of God.” “Contend for the faith.” If we are discussing the most basic tenets of Christianity, John 3:16, Acts 4:12 or Romans 6:23, we can be fairly sure our defense is warranted and inspired by the Holy Spirit. But most issues in life are rarely so clear cut, so firmly based in Scripture, so pertinent to our faith. We must lead with humility in these gray areas, where believing Christians disagree, where Scriptures can be found for both sides of an issue (or neither side). We must listen, wait, pray, search the Scriptures and be open to the possibility that we might be wrong.

Blind to our own blindness

I am writing this to remind myself to lead with grace and humility, because I have been wrong. Specifically, I have wronged my brothers and sisters in Christ who are people of color. For years, in various ways, I have been challenged to consider that their lives are harder than mine, their opportunities fewer, their dangers greater. For years I have disbelieved them – really, never even considered whether to believe them. Why? Because everything has been fine in my world. I realize now that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but the self-centered nature of a fallen heart is blind to its own blindness.

The rhetoric which says all the laws have been changed so racism isn’t a problem convinced me. Americans judge people individually; we don’t prejudge people as a group. I thought the solution to every problem was salvation and that being interested in social issues made you a liberal. I was convinced, because that’s how it was in my white world.

Surprised

For no reason except the grace of God, I began reading biographies of black Christians about four years ago, and God finally gave me eyes to see. I was wrong., blind and self-centered. But the point is, it surprised me. I was surprised I had never really questioned myself on an issue where I had been challenged to question myself multiple times. How had I missed the fact that I might be wrong?

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! (Philippians 2:3-8)

As Christians, we hope to become as much like Jesus Christ as possible, the One who humbled Himself more than we could ever possibly be humbled, deliberately moving into our world so that our pain became His. When challenged to see from someone else’s perspective, I want my first response to be, “Yes. Help me understand your world because that’s what Jesus did for me.” I want to lead with humility and be willing to take on someone else’s pain.

Because racism exists in America. It is wrong. And so was I.


Related Resources:

A Psalm for Covid-19

Psalm 121 – Help Is on the Horizon

The coronavirus pandemic marks the first time an entire generation, a privileged one at that, has been asked to undergo the trials of their ancestors – loneliness, danger, economic hardship, disease. How are we doing? Honestly, some of us are not doing very well. As the worldwide crisis goes on, it seems like a perilous journey that might never end. Psalm 121 was written to encourage worried travelers on a more literal, no less perilous journey: the rugged, weeks-long trek through ancient Israel toward Jerusalem.

This is a song for an anxious pilgrimage.

I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? 
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. 
He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber; 
indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 
The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand; 
the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. 
The LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore

Where does my help come from?

From most areas of Israel, Jerusalem would have been an upward toil. In verse 1, travelers look toward the mountains which lie ahead of them. At the outset, they realize there are undiscovered problems hidden in those hills.

And yet, the horizon also holds an answer. The beautiful temple of God, plated in gold, sat atop Mount Zion at the apex of the capital city. From certain vantage points the travelers might glimpse their destination in the intense sunlight, glowing in the distance. By raising their eyes toward their coming hardships, the pilgrims would also be reminded of the powerful presence of God, their help along the way.

Watchman on the walls

The Lord is portrayed as the watchman on the walls of our lives. He keeps us, guards us, watches over us in the most active and intimate way. He is as close as our shadow, and his protection extends to every time of day or night. We may sleep in hostile situations with confidence that He does not. It is His job and His character to keep us from harm. Without knowing what lies around the next bend, whether bandit or lion or refreshing mountain spring, we can trust that nothing comes to us except by His permission. In addition to the ten dangers we do encounter, this poem implies there have been hundreds more we passed safely by, thanks to the continual watchcare of God. And we do not face the problems of the journey alone.

Dangers still in the distance

The psalmist wrote his final stanza in the future tense. After describing the Lord’s present protection, he invites worried travelers to trust God for those dangers and years still in the distance. We cannot always see the boulders in the road, the robbers hiding nearby or the mountains of tomorrow, but we know they are there. This song assures us many potential threats have already been fenced out and our God is with us every step of the way. We tend to imagine the troubles ahead, but God is far greater than our problems, real or imagined.

As we face a changed world, not knowing where danger lies but knowing it’s out there somewhere, where does our help come from? When the eyes of fear glimpse illness or loss or poverty, let us also envision the presence of God guarding, guiding and comforting us all along our journey. Psalm 121 reminds us, we can either focus on our fears or upon God’s constant presence and abiding love.

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8


Questions:

  1. What dangers do you imagine lie in wait for you?
  1. Can you trust the Lord to protect you on the journey of life? Consider memorizing a verse from Psalm 121 to help you remember God watches over you.

Talking with Your Kids About Disappointment

Lots of kids are disappointed right now. And many parents are wondering how to talk with them. Whether it’s school closures, missed vacations, shuttered restaurants, isolation from grandparents or no more playdates, there is a lot to be disappointed about. No parent likes to deliver bad news, and when you are already struggling yourself, it’s even harder to let down your kids.

We live in a time where it has been possible to shield our children from many of life’s bumps and bruises. But, according to a recent article in Atlantic Magazine, that’s not always a good idea. As Christians, we know it is generally our disappointments which draw us to God in deeper ways and fit us for greater service in His kingdom. Apparently, it is our childhood disappointments which teach us to live in uncertain times with greater peace and hope. Talking with kids about their disappointments is one of the most valuable and formative privileges you have as a parent. Here are three, simple guidelines from Philippians 4 to keep in mind as you do that.

Attitude

Your perspective as a parent will greatly influence your child’s attitude, so deal with yourself first. If present circumstances seem like a bump in the road to you, they are more likely to seem that way to your kids. On the other hand, if you are frightened or overly apologetic or angry, they are more likely to be upset, too. Pray it through, sleep on it, talk with your support group, adjust your own attitude BEFORE talking with your child. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. Phil. 4:6

Adaptability

One of the best indicators of emotional maturity is resilience, the ability to adapt to new information and situations. This is an opportunity to help your children develop more resilience. Allowing them to experience appropriate dissatisfaction and disappointment helps them learn how to handle it. Keep in mind they will not be disappointed by the same things you are, so ask good questions. (E.g., “What’s the worst part about missing school?”) And then help them develop a healthy perspective on their issues. (E.g., “I miss my friends, too, but I’m glad we have ways to stay connected. Who would you like to connect with soon?”)  I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. Phil. 4:11-13

Action

Talking, praying and connecting are actions we all can take to cope with some of our disappointments. Other important activities for your children might include regular exercise, one-on-one time with parents and a dependable routine. Find ways of working fun and laughter into your schedule, too, because a little joy goes a long way. Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Phil. 4:4

If you have specific questions about your own disappointments or parenting your disappointed children, ask them on our Questions page. If you have thoughts, comments or experiences to offer others, please post them as a reply on this page. We love to hear from you.


Related Material:

Helping Anxious Children – DesiringGod.org

What-If’s – Focus on the Family